After 50 years together, same-sex couple says ‘I do’

Emma Margolin
Source: MSNBC

Although it’s been five decades, Claude Summers and Ted-Larry Pebworth still remember perfectly the night they met.

The two were in the Boulevard Lounge, a gay bar in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in the summer of 1963—six years before riots at the Stonewall Inn in New York City effectively launched the modern gay rights movement. Ted was a 27-year-old Ph.D. candidate at Louisiana State University. Claude was 18, home for the summer after finishing his freshman year at UCLA.
“He accuses me of robbing the cradle,” said Ted, now 77, in his Southern drawl. “It was pretty much love at first sight.”

As Claude tells it, the most important decision he anticipated having to make that summer was whether to major in English or pre-law. He never could have imagined the man who bought him a beer that night and talked to him about Tennessee Williams would eventually become his spouse.

On Thursday, nearly 50 years to the day after they first met, Claude and Ted are tying the knot. Not only will the wedding commemorate their golden anniversary—a time when most couples would be renewing their vows, not saying them for the first time—but it will also mark the Supreme Court rulings on two historic marriage equality cases.

For the couple whose relationship has spanned the entire gay rights movement, the decision to marry bridges the political with the deeply personal.

“We just decided that marriage was something both public and private,” said Claude, now 68, whose Louisiana accent rivals that of his soon-to-be spouse. “We don’t need the government for our private relationship, but we wanted to stand with our community and have our relationship honored the same way heterosexual relationships are.”

Claude and Ted are now back in Louisiana, retired after 30-year careers as English professors at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. But their wedding will be held in Provincetown, Massachusetts—the first state to legalize marriage equality through a state Supreme Court ruling nearly a decade ago. Though Louisiana does not recognize same-sex marriages, even those which took place in states that do, the decision to marry in Massachusetts seemed “very natural,” said the couple.

“I was struck by the Goodridge decision, in which the Massachusetts Supreme Court said there can be no second-class citizens, and therefore only marriage would suffice,” said Claude. “So we see it as not only public affirmation for our love to one another, but as a way of asserting our right to first-class citizenship.”

“There is value in having your relationship authorized, in a way,” said Ted. “Especially for gays, who have been denied that right. So that’s the thing I’m most happy about.”

Thursday’s wedding will gather about 40 friends from the couple’s happy life together.

Ted grew up in Homer, Louisiana, “one of the buckles on the Bible belt,” as he describes it. His mother found it hard to accept her son’s sexuality. She used to send Ted newspaper clippings of raids on gay bars. But Ted’s father was surprisingly supportive, even insisting that his son and Claude share a room the first time they came home together for the weekend.

“I never regretted being gay,” said Ted. “I thought everybody should just let me alone, and I’d let them alone.”

Claude, who grew up in Gonzales, Louisiana, said his mother was welcoming, too.
It wasn’t until after 1970 that the couple faced real homophobia that threatened the relationship. The pair was living in Chicago when Claude received a teaching job offer in California. Ted accepted a position there as well. But shortly after, Claude’s offer was rescinded when his employer found out about his sexuality, and the couple was forced to spend a year away from each other.

“I think that was the most difficult time,” said Ted. “Just being alone.”

Claude took a job at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, and a year later, so did Ted. The two flourished there, even receiving a distinguished professorship as a couple after both were nominated.

“It worked out well for us, because we wound up being very happy at the University of Michigan-Dearborn,” said Claude. “We lived normally with a great deal of support. Beyond some isolated incidents, we thought we were very well accepted as a couple.”
In 2001, the pair retired to New Orleans, where they now live with two rescue beagles, who they reluctantly placed in a kennel for their wedding. Both are editors of glbtq.com, a website devoted to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer culture.

“We’ve been through it all,” said Ted. They’ve marched in gay pride parades from New York City to San Francisco and are pleased with the progress the gay rights movement has made.
“I’m not happy with how long it’s taken, but it’s certainly a lot better now than it was then,” said Ted. “I wish it would move faster.”

Wednesday morning, the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, a 1996 law which did not recognize same-sex marriages on a federal level. Writing the decision, Justice Anthony Kennedy said DOMA violated gay Americans’ equal protection under the law and is thus unconstitutional.

The Court ruling struck down the part of DOMA that prevented the federal government from giving same-sex couples access to thousands of federal benefits. Under this decision, Claude and Ted will now be entitled to receive some of those benefits, because they legally married in Massachusetts. But other benefits—such as tax breaks for married couples, and Social Security survivors’ benefits—depend on where the couple currently lives, which in Claude and Ted’s case is Louisiana. Since the Supreme Court did not issue a broad ruling in the Proposition 8 case, Louisiana will continue to not recognize Claude and Ted’s marriage, and they will lose out on some of those valuable federal benefits.

Nevertheless, the couple still believes their wedding will carry significant meaning and hope for the future.

“I don’t want to weep,” said Claude, trying to articulate how he will feel when finally marrying his partner of 50 years. “We know we’ve loved each other and have been able to do so without ever being married, but also having the community blessing that is involved in marriage adds something. It may be intangible but it’s real.”

President Obama speaks at 2011 LGBT Pride Month Reception (Video/Transcript)

THE PRESIDENT: Hello, everybody! (Applause.) Welcome to the White House. (Applause.)

Nothing ruins a good party like a long speech from a politician. (Laughter.) So I'm going to make a short set of remarks here. I appreciate all of you being here. I have learned a lesson: Don't follow Potomac Fever -- (laughter) -- because they sounded pretty good.

We’ve got community leaders here. We've got grassroots organizers. We've got some incredible young people who are just doing great work all across the country -– folks who are standing up against discrimination, and for the rights of parents and children and partners and students --

AUDIENCE MEMBER: And spouses.
THE PRESIDENT: -- and spouses. (Applause.) You’re fighting for the idea that everyone ought to be treated equally and everybody deserves to be able to live and love as they see fit. (Applause.)

Now, I don’t have to tell the people in this room we've got a ways to go in the struggle, how many people are still denied their basic rights as Americans, who are still in particular circumstances treated as second-class citizens, or still fearful when they walk down the street or down the hall at school. Many of you have devoted your lives to the cause of equality. So you all know that we've got more work to do.

But I think it's important for us to note the progress that's been made just in the last two and a half years. I just want everybody to think about this. (Applause.) It was here, in the East Room, at our first Pride reception, on the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, a few months after I took office, that I made a pledge, I made a commitment. I said that I would never counsel patience; it wasn’t right for me to tell you to be patient any more than it was right for folks to tell African Americans to be patient in terms of their freedoms. I said it might take time to get everything we wanted done. But I also expected to be judged not by the promises I made, but the promises I kept.

Now, let's just think about it. I met with Judy Shepard. I promised her we'd pass an inclusive hate crimes law, named after her son, Matthew. And with the help of Ted Kennedy and others, we got it done and I signed the bill. (Applause.)

I met Janice Lang-ben, who was barred from the bedside of the woman she loved as she lay dying, and I told her we were going to put a stop to that discrimination. And I issued an order so that any hospital in America that accepts Medicare or Medicaid –- and that means just about every hospital in America -– has to treat gay partners just as they have to treat straight partners. Nobody in America should have to produce a legal contract. (Applause.)

I said we'd lift the HIV travel ban. We got that done. (Applause.) We put in place the first national strategy to fight HIV/AIDS. (Applause.)

A lot of people said we weren’t going to be able to get "don't ask, don't tell" done, including a bunch of people in this room. (Laughter.) And I just met Sue Fulton, who was part of the first class of women at West Point, and is an outstanding advocate for gay service members. It took two years through Congress -– working with Admiral Mullen and Secretary Gates and the Pentagon. We had to hold together a fragile coalition. We had to keep up the pressure. But the bottom line is we got it done. And in a matter of weeks, not months, I expect to certify the change in policy –- and we will end "don't ask, don't tell" once and for all. (Applause.)

I told you I was against the Defense -- so-called Defense of Marriage Act. I've long supported efforts to pass a repeal through Congress. And until we reach that day, my administration is no longer defending DOMA in the courts. The law is discriminatory. It violates the Constitution. It’s time for us to bring it to an end. (Applause.)

So bottom line is, I’ve met my commitments to the LGBT community. I have delivered on what I promised. Now, that doesn’t mean our work is done. There are going to be times where you’re still frustrated with me. (Laughter.) I know there are going to be times where you’re still frustrated at the pace of change. I understand that. I know I can count on you to let me know. (Laughter and applause.) This is not a shy group. (Laughter.)

But what I also know is that I will continue to fight alongside you. And I don’t just mean as an advocate. You are moms and dads who care about the schools that your children go to. You’re students who are trying to figure out how to pay for going to college. You’re folks who are looking for good jobs to pay the bills. You’re Americans who want this country to prosper. So those are your fights, too. And the fact is these are hard days for America. So we’ve got a lot of work to do to, not only on ending discrimination; we’ve got a lot of work to do to live up to the ideals on which we were founded, and to preserve the American Dream in our time -– for everybody, whether they're gay or straight or lesbian or transgender.

But the bottom line is, I am hopeful. I’m hopeful because of the changes we’ve achieved just in these past two years. Think about it. It’s astonishing. Progress that just a few years ago people would have thought were impossible. And more than that, what gives me hope is the deeper shift that we’re seeing that’s a transformation not just in our laws but in the hearts and minds of people -- the progress led not by Washington but by ordinary citizens.

It’s propelled not by politics but by love and friendship and a sense of mutual regard and mutual respect. It’s playing out in legislatures like New York. (Applause.) It’s playing out in courtrooms. It’s playing out in the ballot box, as people argue and debate over how to bring about the changes where we are creating a more perfect union. But it’s also happening around water coolers. It’s happening at Thanksgiving tables. It’s happening on Facebook and Twitter, and at PTA meetings and potluck dinners, and church halls and VFW Halls.

It happens when a father realizes he doesn’t just love his daughter, but also her partner. (Applause.) It happens when a soldier tells his unit that he’s gay, and they say, well, yeah, we knew that –- (laughter) -- but, you know, you’re a good soldier. It happens when a video sparks a movement to let every single young person out there know that they’re not alone. (Applause.) It happens when people look past their differences to understand our common humanity.

And that’s not just the story of the gay rights movement. It is the story of America, and the slow, inexorable march towards a more perfect union.

I want thank you for your contribution to that story. I’m confident we’re going to keep on writing more chapters.

Thank you very much, everybody. (Applause.)

President Obama Celebrates LGBT Pride Month (Video/Transcript)

I have often said that the truth genius about America is that America can change. We can pass laws to right wrongs. We can soften harden attitudes. Our union can be made more perfect. But here is the thing, change never happens on its own. Change happens because ordinary people countless unsung heroes of our American story stand up and demand it. The story of gay, lesbian, bisexuals and transsexual American is no different. As we celebrate LGBT Pride Month we remember the activists and advocates who refused to be treated as second class citizens. People like G Manfan and Harvey Milk who marched and protested and believed in a better future. But we also remember the unsung heroes, the millions of LGBT Americans for whom everyday acts have required extraordinary courage. The young people who came out as gay or transgender to their parents not knowing what to expect, the two moms or two dads who went to an open house or PTA meeting not knowing how they be received. The couple that got married even if their bosses or neighbor wouldn’t approve, at least not right away. Most of these heroes didn’t set out to make history but that’s exactly what they did. Bit by bit, step by step, they bend the arc of the moral universe towards justice. Now it’s our turn. So this June let’s take some time to celebrate teachers and students who take a stand against bullying, openly service members who openly defend our country with honor and integrity, families and friends who have seen their own attitude evolve. Perfecting our union isn’t something we can do in just one month, but we can remember those who came before us. We can summon their courage and build on their legacy and we can renew our commitment day in and day out to be the kind of people who make change happen.